Pink Moan

July 10th, 2008 by Gnat

Every time I pay a visit back home, I’m reminded of the history of mental illness in my family. It goes a long way back (at least a few generations) and is present on both my mom and dad’s sides. I’ve recently come to believe most (if not all) of the panic and depressive episodes I suffer from are a result of good ol’ Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. OCD is something I’ve had since I was a kid, when I performed various ritualized behaviors (like compulsive checking and counting) as a result of trying to combat intrusive thoughts. I didn’t even know there was such a thing as OCD until I was in high school and saw a late-night commercial. This commercial showed a man meticulously counting the windows of a multi-story office building, then advertised a number to call if you suffered from OCD. It was at that time I realized there were other crazies in the world like me.

So my recent trip back home has inspired my latest bout of self-help. Whilst perusing the internet for resources on combating my OCD (and avoiding work this afternoon, yes), I came upon the most fabulous term that I have to share with you all. It’s called Scrupulosity, and it’s the religious manifestation of OCD. My intention isn’t to make fun of people with this disorder, because that would be mean and make me a hypocrite. I suppose I just find it fascinating such a condition exists. Here’s a brief definition of Scrupulosity:

“For a certain individuals, religious beliefs become compulsive, joyless behaviors. The individual may constantly worry that he or she might say or do something blasphemous. He may fear that he has committed sin, forgotten it and then neglected to repent for the sin. He may spend long hours searching his mind to try to ferret out evidence of un-confessed sins. He is unable to feel forgiven. Specific obsessions and compulsions vary according to the individual’s religion.”

I think I have figured out the direct result of Scrupulosity when this condition is projected outward and filtered through a political lens — it’s called Republicanism. They don’t yet have an entry in the DSM for Republicanism, but here’s to hoping.