Pink Moan

September 19th, 2008 by Gnat

It all started when I was looking for more information regarding a police chase that occurred on my friend Virginia’s block one weekend last month. I did some Googling, and while I didn’t find out much about the aforementioned police chase, I did stumble upon this site: Family Watchdog. Family Watchdog is basically a portal site for the National Sex Offender Registry. You can find all the pervs on your block using this site, and even have the option of receiving email alerts if and when a new perv moves to the ‘hood. While there is something that creeps me out about this email alert feature, I understand parents’ concern for their children and the desire to keep tabs on potentially dangerous predators. I was just curious when I decided to search my street/city/zip on Family Watchdog, but the results were a bit shocking: the guy who lives RIGHT NEXT DOOR to me is, or at some point was, a child molester.

Yep, that’s right: my next door neighbor was at some point in his life (he’s in his 50s) convicted of lewd and lascivious acts with a child under the age of 14. The Family Watchdog site didn’t supply dates of the conviction, so it could’ve happened two or twenty years ago, I suppose. I’m not too worried for my safety, because the guy (I think he lives with his wife) keeps to himself and apparently he likes (or liked) ‘em much younger than me. But if I had a child, the fact that I have a convicted sex offender living next door to me would certainly make me take pause.

The way it stands, I’m not entirely sure what to do with this newfound information. My block has suddenly become a sort of true crime noir scene in my mind. I shut my curtains tight when night falls. I watch my neighbor do something as benign as get into his car, and I wonder where his (sinister?) destination might be. His every action is met with my mental inquiry: what did you do and what made you do it?