Pink Moan

November 4th, 2008 by Gnat

This is a historic night, boys and girls. I am so happy about Obama winning that I can momentarily forget how heartbroken I’ll be if Prop 8 passes. Seeing the phrase “eliminates right” on a ballot this morning sent shivers, literally, down my spine. I guess the days of Jim Crow laws aren’t really behind us. At least with Obama in the White House, I feel like the climate in this country will be conducive to dialogue and progress. Now, at the very least, all is not lost.

October 16th, 2008 by Gnat

Just a short post to “touch base.” That’s some douche-y corporatespeak for ya. Anyway, my mom has been visiting since last Friday, and I just put her on a plane back home early this morning. We had fun, aside from the mom-related stress I inevitably experience during one of her longish visits. I had to adjust my patterns, habits and schedule while Mom was in town, so I’m just now getting reacquainted with my “normal” reality. While part of me will miss her, I am looking forward to some solitude.

The debate also sort of sent me into a tailspin last night. Just hearing McCain call Obama “pro-abortion” was enough to deeply depress me. I mean, the fact that this issue is still open for debate confounds me. I know it’s a cliche phrase, but Republicans please keep your laws off our bodies.

More soon. And real content too, I promise…

September 2nd, 2008 by Gnat

I just flew in from Austin and boy are my arms tired. Sorry, couldn’t resist that. Actually I arrived back in LA last night. My trip to Austin (Aug 27 - Sept 1) was SUPER fun and I’m still needing to catch up on sleep. Unfortunately I walked into a steaming pile of crap at work today, as my coworker is stalling on beginning a project that was supposed to already be rolled out. So now several of us have to go in and pick up his slack. I don’t know how much I’ll be able to blog this week, but here’s a theme I’ve been stewing on the last few days: disconnection. Sort of the feeling of experiencing life as an observer, rather than a bona fine member of the species. Detachment, but not necessarily by choice. Detachment by choice would make you a cool misanthrope like the anti-hero of Camus’s The Stranger, or James Dean’s broken and beautiful Jim Stark in Rebel Without a Cause. I think lately I feel more like Hamlet.

More later…

August 8th, 2008 by Gnat

Summers always seem to slip away from me. It’s part of my obsession with time, I think, and a bit daunting to explain. But ever since I was a kid it’s been hard for me to enjoy the summertime. You see, nearly as soon as the season begins I’m already anticipating the depressive spiral I experience upon summer’s inevitable passing into fall. Wow, that’s some serious Jewish neuroticism rearing it’s head, isn’t it?! Even Woody Allen would have a hard time topping that neurotic tic. Someday I’ll talk about the theory my fellow Heeb friend Maddy has regarding Jews and neuroticism (hint: it’s programmed into our DNA and has to do with our being on the run throughout history), but that’s a whole ‘nuther post.

Back to summer. Endless myth and sunshine. No school when I was a kid and vacations to California and NYC to visit my dad. As an adult, summer doesn’t mean as much to me but the dread of it ending is still there. It’s ingrained. This weekend I’ll venture to the beaches of Malibu in an attempt to have fun, relax and grab myself a piece of the California sun. I dig the myth. In the meantime, I’m digging these Belle and Sebastian lyrics (from I Know Where the Summer Goes), I think they groove with my neurotic sentiments:

“I know where the summer goes
When you’re having no fun
When you’re under the thumb
I know where the summer dwells
If your underarm smells
And your kitchen looks like hell”

(ah, but Malibu looks pretty good)

July 28th, 2008 by Gnat

So I’m headed off to Denver, aka the “mile high city,” for a few days this week for my job. I’m also planning on visiting a few old friends that I’ve known since high school who now call Denver home. My friend Matthew and his girlfriend Jamie own the Fancy Tiger boutique, which I hope to be able to stop by sometime this week as well. I prolly won’t be blogging much or at all while I’m away, so I’ll leave you, gentle reader, with a few juicy links to chew on. This first was sent to me by my friend Sue, and it’s a real doozy:

NASA astronaut Edgar Mitchell claims alien contact cover-up

Now it’s true that this article came out (coincidentally?) on the heals of the release of the new X-Files movie, which is subtitled: “I Want to Believe.” But just admit it to yourself, dear reader, didn’t you always know deep down inside that aliens were real? My friend Brian predicts that many aging baby boomers will start to come out about this kind of thing more and more regularly as they get older and less likely to give a fuck about the repercussions of disclosure. Whatever the case may be, this article about aliens being real made my week.

Now let’s get on to less celestial subject matter. More gossip, please. Here’s the buzzworthy, already much talked about article the LA Times did on Jay Babcock, Arthur Magazine founder:

Jay Babcock talks Arthur magazine’s Brooklyn move, L.A. as a ‘psychic death hole’

I’m on the Arthur bulletin email list, and last week Babcock sent a lengthy email explaining how misquoted he was by the LA Times in this piece, the real reasons he moved Arthur headquarters to NYC, how much he still really does like LA, and yada, yada, yada. He said he was also going to request that the LA Times print a formal retraction concerning his interview and alleged misquotations. Now I’ve met Jay a couple of times and he seems like a nice enough guy (although he does wear Birkenstocks). However my sources tell me that this latest rant is in true form for Babcock, who supposedly has a history of popping off at the mouth and being a tad elitist. I love Arthur, really I do, but Babcock sounds ever-so-douchey in his LA-bashing interview. Last time I checked, Brooklyn (Williamsburg), was all about commidifiable dissent wrapped up in an every-so-hip package. And Manhattan hasn’t been “edgy” in years. Here’s the Gawker article about the Jay Babcock NYC vs. LA rant, with some funny comments:

L.A.: Give Brooklyn Your Tired, Your Poor, Your Weary…

July 15th, 2008 by Gnat

I can’t believe this extensive collection of experimental film and video works the fine folks at UbuWeb posted. Streaming media and downloadable files too:

UbuWeb: Film & Video

I want to do subsequent posts highlighting a few select works, but there are so many to choose from! Hours of enjoyment and education, my friends. There is also a sound section that I’ve yet to peruse:

UbuWeb: Sound

In other news, I know it’s the lamest thing ever to update friends and acquaintances on your status via your blog, but fuck it. Friends if I’ve been a bit remiss at communication lately please forgive me. I’ve been slightly under the weather, both physically and mentally, but am now on the mend. I went to the doctor today, got some pillz and should be feeling better soon. Also as many of you know, I have a great uncle who was recently committed to the nursing home in Texas. He has the beginnings of Alzheimer’s disease (among many physical ailments including lymphoma) and yesterday tried to escape from the home. It’s all pretty sad and I’ve been dealing with beaucoup de family drama lately. So if any of you out there believe in good vibes, please send some to my uncle Charlie. He could use it.

July 10th, 2008 by Gnat

Every time I pay a visit back home, I’m reminded of the history of mental illness in my family. It goes a long way back (at least a few generations) and is present on both my mom and dad’s sides. I’ve recently come to believe most (if not all) of the panic and depressive episodes I suffer from are a result of good ol’ Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. OCD is something I’ve had since I was a kid, when I performed various ritualized behaviors (like compulsive checking and counting) as a result of trying to combat intrusive thoughts. I didn’t even know there was such a thing as OCD until I was in high school and saw a late-night commercial. This commercial showed a man meticulously counting the windows of a multi-story office building, then advertised a number to call if you suffered from OCD. It was at that time I realized there were other crazies in the world like me.

So my recent trip back home has inspired my latest bout of self-help. Whilst perusing the internet for resources on combating my OCD (and avoiding work this afternoon, yes), I came upon the most fabulous term that I have to share with you all. It’s called Scrupulosity, and it’s the religious manifestation of OCD. My intention isn’t to make fun of people with this disorder, because that would be mean and make me a hypocrite. I suppose I just find it fascinating such a condition exists. Here’s a brief definition of Scrupulosity:

“For a certain individuals, religious beliefs become compulsive, joyless behaviors. The individual may constantly worry that he or she might say or do something blasphemous. He may fear that he has committed sin, forgotten it and then neglected to repent for the sin. He may spend long hours searching his mind to try to ferret out evidence of un-confessed sins. He is unable to feel forgiven. Specific obsessions and compulsions vary according to the individual’s religion.”

I think I have figured out the direct result of Scrupulosity when this condition is projected outward and filtered through a political lens — it’s called Republicanism. They don’t yet have an entry in the DSM for Republicanism, but here’s to hoping.

July 8th, 2008 by Gnat

I’m back from Tejas, as of about 4:00 pm yesterday. Can I just say it’s good to be back in CA? Well, it is. It was great to see my family, but it was also a difficult time as my grandparents just had to put my great uncle in the nursing home. He’s 92, kind of out of it, swollen with lymphoma and mad as hell for being put away. He can afford home care, but alas there is no 24-hour nursing/home care service available in Crane, the tiny west-Texas town in which my folks live (and where I grew up until age 13). I made calls and tried to get my uncle back home, but nothing panned out. I think my folks will be transferring him to a nicer nursing home facility later this week. He’s not going to like it I’m sure, but hopefully he’ll be happier than he is in his current situation.

Marfa was fun! But you know you’re still in Texas (even in an “artist community” like Marfa), when you see pro-life signs around town and bumper stickers that say things like “Babies are not spare parts!” That was sort of depressing, as was the $20 tiny bowl of fettucine w/olive oil I was served at one hip restaurant in Marfa. I guess even in the middle of the desert one isn’t immune to overpriced cuisine.

Oh and upon my arrival in Midland, just after leaving the airport, I saw a bumper sticker on a big-ass redneck truck that read: “Just say NO to Osama, Obama and Chelsea’s mama!” Yup. That was almost enough to make me want to turn around and immediately high-tail it back to the lovely blue state of California.

July 1st, 2008 by Gnat

On a personal note, I’ve been recently trying to trap a couple of stray cats in my neighborhood to get them fixed. The crazy old drunken Cuban man across the street just loves to feed the kitties — of course without taking one iota of responsibility for their health care and general upkeep. Yes, some people just love to see the miracle of nature at work: lots of cute stray kittens running amok that eventually end up ravaged by fleas, half-starved and teaming with infection. I was actually astonished to hear an acquaintance remark over the weekend: “what’s so bad about having lots of stray cats in your neighborhood?” This person seemed to think the scenario on my block was Norman Rockwell-esque, with scrappy yet fun-loving hobo felines trailing little Johnny as he trots off down the block, perhaps with fishing pole in tow.

This ain’t the case, folks.

So I’ve had a couple of trapping mishaps befall me the last couple of days. The first was when I caught the wrong cat on Sunday morning. Whoops. But no harm was done, I released the kitty and tried again last night. This morning I checked the trap and had caught a gray stray. Upon attempting to transfer the stray to my carrier, the damn thing bolted right over the fence. Whoops again. I’m giving this thing another shot today after work, so wish me luck friends.

Oh and I’ll be going to Texas for a few days this week. Leaving on Thursday and returning Monday. My mom and I will be spending July 4th in Marfa, and we will get to see cool things like this:

And this…

And finally…

First image: Prada Marfa storefront installation; second image: still (from gallery site) from the Hello Meth Lab in the Sun exhibit at Ballroom Marfa gallery; third image: the mysterious natural phenomenon that is the Marfa Lights (flashes on the horizon).

Hopefully this trip to Tejas will be good and maybe even help me get a fresh perspective on things. Lately I feel like I relate less and less to people and the world around me…